Jamieisms- Heilan' Man Humor

As any fan of the Outlander series knows, the fabulous Mr. Fraser has a verra wicked sense of humor.  We'll share some of our favorite quotes from Jamie here.  These will change from time to time, so come back often. 

(On finding Fergus)

“I found him in a brothel.”
“Oh, of course,” I said. “To be sure.” I eyed the dirt and smears on his clothes.
“Which you were visiting for some really excellent reason, I expect?”
“Oh, Aye,” he said.  He sat back, arms wrapped about his knees, grinning as he watched me make repairs to my garter.  “I thought you’d prefer me to be found in such an establishment, to the alternative of bein’ found in a dark alleyway, wi’ my head bashed in.”

            “I’ll leave it to you, Sassenach,” he said dryly, “to imagine what it feels like to arrive unexpectedly in the midst of a brothel, in possession of a verra large sausage.”
                                                                                                                      -Dragonfly in Amber 

(Jamie's answer when Claire asked him if he wouldn't like dying in his sleep...)
"Aye, well, perhaps.  I've come close to death by hanging, and I didna like the waiting a bit.  I've nearly been killed in battle a few times; I canna say I was much concerned about the dying then, though, bein' too busy to think of it.  And then I've nearly died of wounds and fever, and that was misery enough that I was looking forward verra keenly to bein' dead. But on the whole, given my choice about it, I think perhaps I wouldna mind dying in my sleep, no."
  He leaned over and kissed me lightly.  "Preferably in bed, next to you.  At a verra advanced age, mind."
                                                                                                                    -Drums of Autumn

"Well, it was Jenny - my sister, ye ken?"
"She said she wasna going to let me die," he said, with a rueful smile. "And she didn't. My opinion didna seem to have anything to do wi' the matter, so she didna bother to ask me." 
"Well, she cleansed it as best she could, and stitched i up.  She said she wasna going to let me die, and wasna going to have me be a cripple, and she wasna going to have me lie about al lthe day feelin' sorry for myself, and - " He shrugged, resigned.  "By the time she finished tellin' me al lthe things she souldna let me do, it seemed the only thing left to me was to get well." 

                                                                                                            - Voyager 

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